One Thought Changed Everything

I grew up Christian.

And with that came a mindset—a system of reward and punishment, love and fear. I believed God loved me, but I also believed I needed to be careful. Careful not to anger Him. Careful not to slip up. Because even if I was doing everything right, like Job, I could still be punished, still be tested. And no one would ever explain why.

It was a spiritual tightrope.

I internalized the idea that if things were going well in life, I must be doing something right. But if things were falling apart? It must be because of something I’d done. Or maybe it wasn’t even me—maybe it was some generational curse, some inherited guilt I didn’t know how to fix.

But then one thought changed everything.

What if it’s not true?

What if the religious framework I was handed—well-meaning as it might have been—was just wrong? What if the narratives were invented to control behavior, to offer hope in a world that often feels hopeless, to explain the unexplainable with stories passed down through generations?

And more importantly—what if there’s no scoreboard?

What if life isn’t a cosmic test? What if it’s not a game where I’m trying to earn love, avoid wrath, and decipher some divine plan written in invisible ink?

That thought broke everything open.

I stopped seeing myself as a character in a play I didn’t write.

I stopped imagining God and Satan moving pieces around like pawns.

I started taking responsibility. For all of it.

My success wasn’t divine favor.

My failure wasn’t divine punishment.

It was life. Random. Chaotic. Beautiful. Brutal. And in many ways—mine.

It was terrifying at first. Because if there’s no one pulling the strings, it’s all on you. But it was also incredibly freeing. Because if there’s no one pulling the strings—it’s all on you.

That means change is possible. That means growth is real. That means I can stop begging the sky for mercy and start showing up in my own life.

I stopped blaming evil.

I stopped fearing punishment.

I stopped waiting for miracles.

And I started living.

One thought changed everything. And maybe it can change something for you, too.

If you grew up in a belief system that made you afraid, that told you your pain was part of some higher test—you’re allowed to question that.

You’re allowed to explore other ideas.

You’re allowed to think for yourself.

Sit with it.

Challenge it.

See what’s real.

It might just be the first step toward freedom.